


He's a Catch...22

by st4rlabsforever (omaken)



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Bisexual Cisco Ramon, Confused Puppy Barry Allen, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-08 06:54:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6843811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omaken/pseuds/st4rlabsforever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On a whim, Barry offers to help Cisco with his lackluster dating life. After all, who better to play wingman than the Flash? Joke’s on Barry though, because he can’t remember ever developing a crush this quickly in his life.</p><p>Written for Flashvibe Week 2016.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He's a Catch...22

**Author's Note:**

> A big thanks to kashinoha for giving me some very sound advice while writing this one. I'm a huge sucker for Flashvibe friends to lovers if you couldn't already tell. Hope you enjoy reading!

It began late one night when Barry had saved a woman from being mugged.

“How about a date? As thanks for saving my life,” the woman said as she batted long eyelashes at him.

“Um...actually, I’m not really looking to date anyone right now,” Barry scratched the back of his neck and hoped that the Flash voice masked how flustered he was. Sure, women (and men on occasion) had propositioned him from time to time while he was out fighting crime, but the frequency seemed to have increased in recent weeks and really, what was he supposed to do? Show up to dinner in costume?

“Dude…” Cisco’s voice came out tinny over the comms, causing Barry to nearly jump at the sound. He had forgotten that Cisco was still there. “What the hell is wrong you? Take her up on the offer!”

There was a brief pause before he sighed. “Not tonight, Cisco.”

“Huh? Who’s Cisco?” his rescuee asked.

Oops.

“Uh, stay out of trouble,” Barry said hastily. He didn’t wait for a response before running back to STAR Labs.

*

When Barry got back to the Cortex, Cisco was about as nosy as he’d expected.

“Hey, what’s going on with you?”

“I don’t know, it just doesn’t feel like the right time...not right after Patty, you know?”

“Pshh, that’s why you _should_ be out there testing the waters. Plenty of other fish in the sea.”

Barry didn’t have a response to that, which was fine because Cisco plowed on anyway. “I’d kill to be your position right now. I mean, you’re literally up to your nose in dates and I’m over here struggling to get even one. Seriously, I’ve been shot down at least a dozen times since the beginning of this month.”

Really, Barry hadn’t even thought of another relationship after Patty. That one had still stung, and it really didn’t make sense to be with someone who didn’t know about his secret identity; it would just lead to heartbreak again. Regarding the second point, though…

“I could set you up next time.” The words were out of Barry’s mouth before he could stop himself.

He wasn’t sure why he said it. Maybe it was because he wanted Cisco to be happy. Because Cisco _deserved_ to be happy. He was funny, smart, and kind and anyone would be lucky to have him. And besides, this was the least he could do in return for Cisco helping him out with the suit and the gadgets all the time.

“What?” Cisco asked, looking just a little more than shocked.

“I mean,” Barry faltered, “we don’t have to if it’s weird. I just thought -- I’m not really interested right now, but you are. So next time someone asks me on a date, I could refer them to you?”

Cisco clapped his hands and perked up in excitement. “You’d really do that for me?”

“‘Course.”

“Best wingman ever,” Cisco said in awe.

Caitlin rolled her eyes at them, but Barry knew it was meant affectionately.

 

* * *

 

 

The next time he was propositioned, which, as it happened, was the next day, he took on his new role enthusiastically.

It was funny, Barry thought, how at ease he was making his pitch about Cisco. When he was the one doing the asking out, he had been nervous as all hell. At least, that had been the case with Linda and Patty. This, though? This felt natural. Easy. Maybe that had something to do with how effortless and simple it was to list off the pros of dating Cisco.

“I mean, he’s smart, funny, cute--”

 _“Um…”_ Cisco said in his ear.

“--and compassionate. What’s not to like, right?” Barry finished eagerly. He even forgot to use to the Flash voice, excited as he was.

“I don’t know about this…” the girl said. If she seemed confused at the turn this conservation had taken after asking the Flash out to dinner, Barry didn’t say anything.

Cisco sighed. “ _Just drop it, Bar. I knew this was a bad idea.”_

“Come on, please?” Barry wheedled, bouncing on the tips of his toes and all up in her personal space. “You’ll have a great time! That’s a Flash promise.”

“...okay, why not?” she conceded.

_“Wait, really?”_

“Awesome!”

“So, how should we do th--”

“I put his number in your phone. He’ll call you soon,” Barry said in a rush of wind as he handed her phone back to her. He tried not to sound too excited, but this was as close to a riveting success as he could’ve hoped for.

Mission accomplished.

When he was finally out of earshot, he let out a deafening _whoop_.

*

“How’d it go?” Barry asked immediately when Cisco opened the door. It had taken all of his not-inconsiderable restraint to not phase through the door or vibrate the doorknob off.

“Barry…”

“Come on, hash out the details, man. I thought you two would hit it off bigtime.”

“Yeah, I thought so too, but I think she was more interested in you. She kept asking questions about the Flash. I mean, I didn’t learn a thing about her, and she wasn’t interested in learning about me either.”

“...oh.”

“Yeah. Thanks for trying, though. Really appreciate it, bro.” Cisco clapped him on the shoulder. There was a brief moment when Barry almost wanted to smack him for giving up so easily; if he thought Barry was backing down after one tiny misstep, then he really didn’t know him at all.

“Let me try again,” Barry said firmly, sidestepped Cisco, and shimmied into the apartment . “I just haven’t perfected my technique yet. And besides, it’s like you said: there are plenty of fish out there.”

Sitting at the kitchen table as Cisco moved to whip up a midnight snack, he made a mental note to pay Cisco back for the ingredients; normally, he’d just call it even the next time Cisco crashed at his place, but considering Barry ate like, an extortionate amount of food…

It pained Barry to see the dejected look on Cisco’s face as he gave the eggs a one-handed crack and whisked them into the mixing bowl.

“No one wants to date me for Barry Allen, we could talk about that,” he broached. “Everyone loves the Flash, but Barry’s like, completely invisible, and I never know if someone’s interested in me for me, or just what they see in the news.”

It sucked, but he wasn’t losing any sleep over it. For one thing, dating Patty had proved to him that a relationship with anyone who didn’t know his secret identity was out of the question, and that didn’t leave many options on the table. He had been (and still was) upset about how things had ended with her, but he wasn’t looking for a rebound.

“That’s rough,” Cisco said sympathetically. He dolloped the batter onto the skillet, the sizzling reverberating throughout the apartment and the bread-like smell hitting his nostrils and reminding him of how hungry he was. Fighting crime was exhausting, okay? At least Cisco understood.

“My point is: we’re both a work in progress. You can’t give up before you’ve even tried.”

Cisco didn’t say anything for a moment, and Barry wasn’t sure he would answer at all until he said, “alright, let’s give it another try.”

Barry beamed. “See? That’s the spirit!”

“Yeah, yeah. You could make a killing as a matchmaker if you ever decide to hang up the suit, you know that?”

“Hey, gotta keep my options open,” Barry sniped back playfully.

“Alright, dig in.” Cisco slid a plate piled high with pancakes across the table to him, topping it off with a liberal helping of syrup just like he knew Barry liked. “I know this is the real reason you came here tonight.”

Barry gasped and raised a hand to his chest in mock offense. “Rude! Why can’t I be here to enjoy my bro’s company?” Nevertheless, he started shoveling in the buttery, fluffy goodness, not even bothering to move at a normal speed. This was _Cisco_. He wouldn’t judge.

“What am I gonna do with you?” Cisco said affectionately as he replenished the the plate with a second helping.

 

* * *

 

 

“That was a bust.”

“I don’t get it,” Barry said. They had been tracking a bank robber who had managed to pull off five heists in the past week alone. Every time Barry had arrived at the scene, said robber had been long gone despite receiving the alerts while the robberies were still ongoing. They were honestly beginning to suspect metahuman activity at this point. He had brought Cisco along this time to see if any useful information could be gleaned from the meager evidence left behind, but no dice.

“Wait, hang on. I found a footprint.”

Barry crouched down on the floor with Cisco. “Think you can pick anything up from it?”

“Here goes nothing.”

He watched Cisco’s face take on that blank expression it always did when he caught a vibe. Truthfully, Barry was excited that Cisco was finally embracing his powers more because firstly, there was absolutely no way that someone like Cisco could ever become evil -- he’d literally put his left foot in his mouth if that ever happened. And secondly, the idea of having a superhero crime-fighting partner who was _also_ one of his closest friends was almost too good to be true.

Having Cisco by his side in the field was just the next logical step, Barry told himself. And anyway, having backup would be nice, especially when speed alone often wasn’t enough to defeat some of their more recent foes.

He wondered sometimes how it was possible that they got along so well. Barry could, for example, communicate almost exclusively in a series of facial expressions with Cisco -- a raised eyebrow, an uptick of the lips, a scrunched nose. He tried to recall when exactly Cisco had consolidated his status as best friend, but came up short; it felt like things had always been this way.

“Get us out of here. Now,” Cisco said suddenly, shaking Barry out of his thoughts.

“What? Why?”

“ _Now!_ ”

Barry did as he was told, only stopping once they were a few blocks away.

“What’s wrong?”

“The meta, he was there. It was like he was invisible or something, and he had a gun pointed right at you.”

“Okay, so what do we do?”

“Hmm,” Cisco contemplated. “We’re gonna need to figure out how his powers work, first. But I’m pretty sure I can rig together some glasses that’ll counteract the invisible thing he’s got going. Let’s get back to the lab and let the others know, I’m sure they’ll have ideas, too.”

Barry hated leaving the job unfinished, but Cisco had seemed pretty freaked earlier, and it wasn’t like he’d be able to take down an invisible opponent in a gunfight anyway. Better to play this one safe.

*

Barry had barely started running them back when Cisco suddenly found himself standing on the sidewalk. Behind him, he saw Barry streaking away in the direction they had just come from.

“What the hell?” he muttered to himself.

After a minute had passed, it dawned on Cisco that Barry had really left him high and dry. Grumbling about wayward speedsters, he began making his way to the nearest bus stop when Barry suddenly reappeared in a flash of lightning and a whirl of wind.

“Hey,” he panted, breathless as he gestured to the bewildered woman beside him. “This is Lisa. No relation to the Golden Glider,” he added as an aside.

“Cisco, Lisa. Lisa, Cisco.” Barry gestured between them like a hyperactive puppy. “Cisco used to be an engineer at STAR Labs before he became CCPD’s metahuman advisor.”

“Um, nice to meet you…I’m a biologist over at Mercury Labs,” she said, shaking his hand with that still slightly dazed look on her face.

The first thing Cisco noticed about her was how cute she was -- in a nerdy, geeky kind of way. She actually reminded him of Felicity a little. Sooner than Cisco could say anything, though, Barry was clapping them both on the shoulders and nudging them together before dashing off, giving him two thumbs up and a toothy grin.

Well, okay. That wasn’t exactly subtle, but Cisco would roll with it.

 

* * *

 

 

“I’m telling you man, it just doesn’t make sense,” Cisco griped.

They had been trying for a few days now to figure out the secret behind the meta’s powers. Cisco had taken to sarcastically calling him Frodo, but insisted it was just a placeholder until he came up with a better name. Really though, the glasses he’d designed hadn’t done shit to render the man visible, and the last encounter had ended with Barry getting knocked out, which: embarrassing. The one positive in all of this was that Frodo didn’t seem keen on hurting anyone; he’d had Barry right where he wanted him but chose to escape instead, and he hadn’t left any victims...yet.

Plus, they’d swiped a DNA sample from a fingerprint he’d left behind. There wasn’t much they could do until Caitlin finished analyzing the data, so he’d suggested to Barry that they let off some steam while the State Fair was still in town.

“You’ll figure it out soon, I’ve got faith in you, buddy. Hey, wait!” Barry yanked him towards one of the shady-looking tables where a carnie with a goatee had a small crowd entranced.

“Step right up! Try your luck! Just guess which cup the magic coin is under!” Weren’t those jingles supposed to rhyme? He showed his audience the coin before placing it under one of the cups and beginning to shuffle them around rapidly.

Cisco felt himself going cross-eyed trying to follow along, unable to keep up with -- _oh._

He rolled his eyes. Of course.

Barry nudged him in the side before stepping up and predictably guessing correctly. He loved showing off his powers whenever possible, a fact that Cisco had learned early on in their friendship, right around the time when he’d challenged the team to simultaneous games of ping pong, Operation, and chess.

“And we have a winner! Want to play another round and double the stakes?”

Cisco groaned. They were going to be here for a while.

After beating the winning streak by a mile, they were forced to move on when the carnie accused them of cheating, which of course he couldn’t prove, but was nonetheless still completely true. Barry had complained the entire way to the arcade that he was being ‘discriminated against.’

“So, how are things going with Lisa?” Barry said after a few seconds passed by in silence.

“Got another date planned for this weekend, but I don’t know, man. She’s nice, it’s just that we don’t really have much in common.”

“Ah…”

“Not that I don’t appreciate everything you’ve been doing,” he added hastily when he saw Barry beginning to mope.

“Hey, there’s always next time, right?” Barry said as he inserted a quarter into the skee ball machine.

“Sure.” Initially, Cisco had been hesitant to go along with this idea of Barry’s, but it was just testing the waters. He was young and single. People his age dated all the time for social interaction. He had to remind himself that there didn’t need to be any romantic intent and, he had to admit, this was helping him be more social and confident. Plus, he was having a genuinely good time just getting out and meeting new people.

“Now come on, put those powers to use and win us something nice.”

Barry snorted and looked around cautiously, then zipped up the lane, netting them a perfect score before Cisco could even blink.

“Nice. What about you? How’re you holding up?”

“Honestly, it’s sorta nice being single? I mean, it’s one less thing to worry about on top of all the Flash stuff. Hey, how about bringing this for your next date?” he asked, pulling down an enormous stuffed care bear off the prize rack.

Cisco barked out a laugh. “Sure, that’d work if we were both five.”

Barry giggled, a boyish high-pitched note that was as carefree as it was cheerful. “Seriously though, don’t worry about me. I’ve got you and the rest of the team, and it’s like I said: you’re family to me.”

Those words warmed something in Cisco’s heart. “You’re my family, too. Now what do you say we get back and see how the others are doing?”

 

* * *

 

 

They were investigating another crime scene involving a meta. It really wasn’t such an uncommon sight these days to see the Flash working with Cisco on the metahuman cases with the CCPD, but Barry might have been pushing for it just a little bit.

“Hey, over here.” He all but dragged Cisco over to the police barricades, where a throng of giggling reporters was snapping selfies with their phones while jotting down what notes they could on the case.

“Ladies, this is Cisco Ramon. He’s been working with me and the CCPD to keep Central City safe from metahuman threats. He’s a real hero,” Barry said earnestly, ignoring the blush that was creeping up Cisco’s cheeks..

Not that Cisco needed him to advocate on his behalf, but if the people were enamored with the Flash, then Barry would use his voice to make sure that they knew what Cisco was doing for them. And well, if that scored Cisco points with the ladies, then all the better.

He gave Cisco a squeeze on the shoulder and pulled him closer, plastering on a winning smile to go with his pitch. He didn’t ask himself why it felt so good to have Cisco so close, but if he had to guess, he’d say it was because of their unbreakable friendship. Yeah, that was what he was going with.

*

Days had turned into weeks and months and Cisco was having the time of his life. It wasn’t like helping the Flash wasn’t fulfilling in itself, but this new social component of his life was thrilling. A real change from the ‘netflix and chill with himself’ thing he’d had going for a while.

And sure, he hadn’t found anyone yet who he felt comfortable moving on to a relationship with, but that wasn’t the point. Having a healthy social life was doing wonders for his self-esteem.

He made a mental note to thank Barry one of these days.

*

“I think one of those girls you introduced me to is a stalker. She said she saved a Kleenex that the Flash used last week.”

“Um,” Barry looked mildly alarmed, “can I file a restraining order?”

“Sure, filed under last name ‘Flash,’ first name ‘The’? I’ll get Singh on it in the morning.”

“Fair point.” Barry was sprawled out on Cisco’s couch on the corner spot he’d claimed for himself years ago. Cisco was sitting on the floor with his back leaned against the cushions.

“I say you need to own the good _and_ the bad. How do you know you won’t end up marrying one of your admirers one day?” he teased.

“Never gonna happen,” Barry said pointedly. He reached down and let a few sparks of electricity fly as he ruffled Cisco’s hair, the result being the bird’s nest currently atop Cisco’s head.

He swatted at Barry to no avail. “Gah, knock it off! It takes me like, an hour to get it all wavy like that.”

Barry’s grin was shit-eating.

“That’s it.” Cisco picked up a pillow and threw it hard, not waiting to see if it connected before following up with a two-pronged clap attack, smacking Barry on both sides of the head.

Of course, he hadn’t considered the drawbacks of challenging a speedster to a pillow fight.

 

* * *

 

 

The past few months of playing wingman had been entirely too easy, which was the only reason Barry could come up with to explain his current predicament.

The three of them were out celebrating after Barry had hit Mach 4 for the first time. The drinks were more of an afterthought for him given his metabolism; the company he was with was the main attraction and boy, did he miss nights like these, just them three after a successful night of crime fighting.

“You’ve been staring at that guy all night, just ask him out already,” Caitlin said to Cisco.

“Yeah, no, he’s like Eddie or Oliver levels of attractive. Not even Barry winging for me is going to get him to look in my direction.”

.

.

.

 _Wait_.

.

.

.

Barry wasn’t exactly paying attention to the back and forth Caitlin and Cisco were having, owing to the fact that his carefully organized thoughts had just been rent to pieces by this latest revelation. Cisco was bi? He knew Cisco for near on three years now, so how didn’t he know this?

When he really thought about it, he realized Cisco had never been tight-lipped about his attraction to men. There were the envious comments about Eddie; the wistful commentary on Oliver’s physique; and, now that Barry was actively calling their entire friendship into memory, he even thought he remembered Cisco talking about a boyfriend in college. It was just -- that information had somehow slipped past his awareness without a second thought, filed under ‘irrefutable facts of the universe’: the grass was green, Joe was a detective, and Cisco Ramon occasionally dated men.

He wanted to overthink this until he didn’t have the energy to think anymore, but Cisco pulled him out of his thoughts.

“What do you think, Barry?” he asked.

“Uh, I could try introducing you to him in the suit if it helps?”

He nearly slapped himself a split second later. Why had he even said that?

“Nah, don’t worry about it.” Cisco downed two shots in rapid succession before standing up abruptly. “Wish me luck.”

And then Cisco was marching right over to the bar and striking up a conversation with the man, who Barry had to admit was handsome in a rugged sort of way. Just like that, the other man’s eyes lit up and he was nodding enthusiastically. It was like a scene out of a rom com.

For reasons that Barry couldn’t place, it felt like something miniscule had just slipped through his fingers.

*

Cisco was...well, he was perfect, as far as friends came. Through it all, he had been there for Barry -- when he learned to run up a building, on water, through _time_ \-- and Barry had meant it when he’d said he’d be there for Cisco every step of the way, too.

And then there was the fact that Cisco was smart, but humble. A genius, but willing to patiently explain the physics behind being a speedster to him, which was a sharp contrast with the jagged edges and conceit that Harry and even the old Hartley had exhibited.

There was no part of himself that Barry had to hide around Cisco, whether it was showing up in baggy sweatpants for a midnight Star Trek marathon or just hanging around the lab acting like a fool as Cisco made improvements to the suit. Not having to worry about letting some crucial detail slip about his secret identity was pretty nice, because as much as he’d loved Patty, the list of things they could talk about was severely limited when the ‘taboo’ column included a major part of who he was.

Barry loved the little things too, like the friendly banter they kept up over the comms even as he was taking down criminals, or the fact that Cisco varied the flavors in his speedster protein bars and always asked Barry for feedback with a wide grin.

So, yeah, he was absolutely comfortable in saying that dating Cisco would be great. He just wasn’t sure why it had taken him this long to see it. Sure, he’d never realized Cisco was even an option before, but now that he did, it was like opening a window and being met with a gust of fresh air (or rather, more like a tornado in this case). He really had no idea Cisco swung for both teams, which, in retrospect was feeling more and more like a major oversight.

*

Life moved on and Barry found that he was less enthused to play wingman these days. It wasn’t that he was jealous, because he was, just a little; and it wasn’t that he envied the lucky women and men who got to gallivant around the city with Cisco, because he did; but he’d done some soul-searching over the past couple of weeks and had come to the conclusion that he was hopelessly in love with Cisco.

Now, normally he wasn’t good at taking the initiative unless it involved stopping a gunman from robbing a bank, or some other such crime, but he was definitely being pressured here. It was like watching Iris date Eddie all over again, knowing that even with all of his super speed, he was perpetually late when it came to matters of the heart.

And, he thought to himself, why should he be actively promoting his competition and derailing his own chances?

Crap, what was he saying? He had to get a handle on this, and soon.

Then, he was laughing maniacally -- a bit of hysteria intermingled with desperation -- when it hit him: he’d been the one to put Cisco in this situation. It never would’ve occurred to Barry that he wanted to date Cisco if he hadn’t concocted this whole wingman scheme, but now there was a very real danger he wouldn’t even have the chance to explore a future with him, all because he’d had to run his damn mouth like he always did.

This reminded him of his fifth grade science competition. He’d had a killer idea involving a bicycle pump and a soda bottle, but then Becky Cooper had batted her eyelashes and asked him for help and he’d found himself devoting almost all of his free time to her. She’d ended up taking first place that year.

Joe had laughed and told him to ‘never stop being you, Bar,’ but things felt a little more serious this time around. What if Cisco found _the one_ he wanted to settle down with?

Barry swallowed.

What if it was one of the people Barry had set him up with? He would certainly be happy for Cisco, but he would never be able to get the question of ‘what if?’ out of his mind.

Of course, the universe had no intention of making this easy for Barry. He had just rescued a cyclist from near-certain death at the hands of a runaway pickup truck when the man had dusted himself off and done a double take at seeing the Flash.

“Thank you,” he said earnestly.

“Stay safe.” Barry was about to dash away when the guy put a hand on his shoulder.

“Wait! Uh -- this is kinda embarrassing, but word on the street is that you’ve been setting people up with this really amazing guy and I was just wondering if -- if maybe you could put in a good word for me,” he stuttered out.

“ _Hell yes, please_ ,” Cisco said loudly and enthusiastically over the comms. _“I mean, look at him, am I right?”_

Barry touched the Flash emblem and cut off the video feed.

“ _Hey, what gives?!_ ”

If you’d asked him after, he would have said it was an actual, legitimate case of lightning psychosis because there was no other explanation for the way he was acting tonight.

“Actually, he’s not looking to date anyone right now,” Barry said.

“Oh, that’s too bad, then,” the man said with a crestfallen look.

“ _Wait, what the hell, Bar?! Yes I am!_ ” Cisco sputtered, loud enough to make Barry jump a little.

“Sorry, maybe next time.” He zipped back to the lab with Cisco shouting in his ear the entire way.

*

The ensuing conversation was about as awkward as he could’ve predicted.

“Dude, what was that?” Cisco asked with a scowl.

Hoo boy. How to answer this one? Caitlin was tinkering mindlessly with one of the displays, pretending that she wasn’t listening when Barry knew she was hanging onto every word. Iris had an eyebrow raised. Hartley looked like he was watching a particularly juicy episode of a reality TV show, not even bothering to hide his interest. Only Harry seemed completely detached, which Barry supposed was probably because he really couldn’t care less.

“I, uh-- I didn’t think he would be a good match for you?” He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Good match?! I don’t think I could’ve made it any clearer how interested I was! Look, if you don’t want to do this whole wingman thing anymore, I totally get it, okay? But you don’t have to be a jerk about it.”

“That’s not --! It isn’t --!” Barry tried fishing for the words he wanted to say, but what was there really to be said? He didn’t think this was the time for grand confessions of love, not when Cisco was so angry. Besides, his track record with crushes who were close friends was quite frankly dismal.

“I think what Barry _means_ to say is that it’s late and we’re all tired. He misspoke, that’s all,” Iris cut in. Bless her. It was as good an excuse as any and it avoided addressing the elephant in the room, so Barry went with it.

“Well, okay. See you tomorrow, I guess,” Cisco said before heading out with Caitlin. He was still scowling as they walked out of the Cortex.

When Barry turned to Iris to thank her, she was exchanging a strange look with Hartley of all people.

“Uh, guys?”

The moment was broken and Iris picked up her bag to go. “Let’s head home, Bar.”

He couldn’t help but feel like he had just been the butt of some unspoken joke, though.

 

* * *

 

 

Another month had come and gone and Barry had settled into a routine with Cisco. It wasn't exactly the resolution he had been looking for, but at the same time, he didn't want to ruin one of the best things he had in his life. So he was content to just remain friends, to keep his distance and watch from afar.

All of his perfectly calculated restraint went out the window when Iris and Hartley decided to involve themselves, though. Iris’s ‘save’ that time had of course been too good to be true.

It happened after work one day at the beginning of winter. Barry had shivered his way out of the suit after a patrol, only to find Hartley waiting for him in the Cortex, waiting to get his opinion on some tech he’d designed for the suit.

And Barry hadn't questioned his jovial tone, which in hindsight had been his first fatal mistake.

“Just in here,” Hartley said.

“Hey, isn't this the time vault?”

“Yeah, we’ve been repurposing it as a workroom since Thawne left.” He closed the door behind them and the walls shimmered with a film-like, blue glow.

Fatal mistake number two.

“Have a seat, Barry.”

He nearly jumped at the other voice in the corner.

“Iris?!”

She was sitting on one of the plush rollers with her legs crossed, sleek heels shining under the fluorescent lights, a pen and notepad in her hand.

“Uh…”

“Sit.” She gestured imperiously at the stool in front of her as Hartley moved to stand by her side.

Barry wasn't sure what was happening, but as he sat down, he was beginning to feel like this was the beginning of an Inquisition, and yes, that was with a capital ‘i.’ It was like when she’d found out about his crush on Becky Cooper all over again and--

_Oh, no._

“Do you have feelings for Cisco?” Iris asked.

“What…?! No!”

“I'm going to say that's an affirmative,” Hartley chimed in with a sly grin. “Did you start setting him up on dates to help yourself get over him?”

Barry spluttered, unsure of how to even respond to that.

“That wasn’t your intention, then,” Hartley corrected course. “You only realized your feelings recently?”

And Barry absolutely couldn't do this right now. He knew he was an awful liar, but he couldn't help it if he was expressive. The chances of Iris and Hartley catching on increased exponentially the longer he sat in this room, so he did what he always did: he ran. Full speed. He had fully intended to phase through the door, but rebounded hard and found himself a good twenty feet on the opposite end of the chamber.

“Ow…”

“Thanks, Hartley,” Iris said casually, as if she were remarking on the weather and not the fact that Barry had just ricocheted off the wall like a cartoon character.

“With pleasure.”

With a groan, Barry pushed himself off the floor. This was bad. It was beginning to feel like he was in a pressure cooker.

“Come on, guys. Just let me out,” he pleaded.

“No can do. Not until you’ve given us what we want.” Iris had that no-nonsense look she put on when she was absolutely done playing around.

“I have no idea what you guys are talking about though!” Immediately after the words left his mouth, he winced. That was a bad lie even by his standards.

“Shall we start at the beginning, then?” Hartley asked. There wasn’t much Barry could do but eye them warily, fully aware that he was sitting in the lion’s den but without any means of escape whatsoever.

Hartley launched into a series of rapid fire questions that were no doubt designed to confuse and trick him. What was Cisco’s favorite color? (Maroon). His go-to pizza topping? (Pineapple, which Barry thought was nasty, but Cisco always told him not to judge). His idol? (A toss-up between Sagan and Feynman for scientists. Oscar Isaac for non-scientists; ‘yes, there are categories, Barry,’ Cisco had said). Barry was surprised he knew the answers to some of the questions, which just kept coming and coming. Iris, for her part, continued to scribble furiously.

From minute details of Cisco’s current projects to Barry’s work at the CCPD, Hartley left no stone unturned. Factual questions that Barry of course knew the answers to. Hypothetical ‘what would Cisco do?’ questions that he nevertheless felt he knew how Cisco would respond to. Questions about the men and women Cisco had been dating in recent months. It felt like a game of mental chess, but despite his considerable speed, Barry still had trouble keeping up with Hartley.

The killing blow came when Barry had been exhausted from trying to vet every question from every possible angle for suspicious intent.

“And how long have you been in love with Cisco?”

“Forty-two days,” Barry said without hesitation. It was only when he saw Hartley’s lips swing into a positively shark-like grin (in slow motion) that he realized his mistake.

Iris hit the playback on her phone and Barry heard himself confess five times in a row.

He deflated, the wind completely leaving his sails. “What am I supposed to do?” he asked desperately.

There was a deep sigh that came from somewhere above him, but he couldn’t say from whom. When he looked up, Iris was tossing her pen and paper to the side.

“Now that that’s over with,” she said, her demeanor immediately transforming into something much warmer, “we can get on with the show. We’re here to help, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

 

* * *

 

 

Cisco whistled a tune on the long trudge up the stairs to his apartment. He wasn’t even sure where the theme had come from; Joe had been humming it all week and Cisco found himself parroting it. Everyone had been in chipper moods as the week had come to a close, and even Barry had been acting more like his normal self again.

He still wasn’t sure what had happened that time with the cyclist, but he knew it had something to do with the whole dating thing. He suspected Barry didn’t want to talk about it though, and while that hurt a little, he knew he had to respect his boundaries, confusing though they might have been.

When he reached his floor, the man in question was standing in front of his door.

“Barry?”

“Hey, Cisco,” he said with a dimpled grin that had Cisco feeling like he was the center of the world.

“Need something?”

“I, um -- I’m sorry for acting like an ass.” His tone was sheepish, eyes refusing to make contact with Cisco’s.

“I’m not following…”

“The whole dating thing. I started it because I wanted to help you find someone nice, but then I realized I was a little jealous. Not of you!” Barry added hurriedly. “Of the people who got to date you. I, uh -- I didn’t even know what I was feeling at first, but by the time I figured it out, there were people lining up to see you, and I guess I went a little crazy trying to make sure I didn’t ruin my own chances.”

Cisco’s brain had shut down at around the part where Barry apparently had feelings for him. Not just the bromantic kind, but _those_ kinds of feelings. He pinched himself.

“Say something, please…” Barry said urgently.

“I--” Cisco began. “I’ve kinda felt the same way about you since we first met. I had no idea you were even interested in me that way.”

“...I didn’t realize you were even an option at first.”

“But now I am?”

“The only option,” Barry whispered. Cisco had to strain to hear it.

His night had gone from 0 to 6,000,000 real fast. Was this even real life? Cisco went with the flow, though; he had always been good at doing that.

“Just a warning: I’m gonna kiss you now. Stop me if you don’t want to.”

Before he could follow through, Barry was kissing him like his life depended on it, not that Cisco was complaining at all. It was a kiss made up of months of pent up frustration, passionate and eager and intense all at once. Barry gave a little vibration with his tongue that caused Cisco to yelp before all of the possibilities of dating a speedster slowly began to dawn on him.

“Wanna take this inside? I’m more of a ‘dinner first’ kind of guy,” Cisco teased.

Barry laughed. “You got it.”

He had barely gotten his front door open and unpacked his groceries when Barry jolted suddenly. “Crap!”

“Uh, what is it? Is someone dying?”

“No, I just, uh, I promised I’d help Joe move some stuff in Wally’s new room tonight. It’ll only take me a few minutes, be back soon!” he shouted, leaving a signature trail of yellow lightning behind him.

Cisco shrugged. He accepted Barry and everything that came with him, eccentric quirks and all.

*

Truthfully, Barry had promised Hartley dinner every day this week as payment for helping him sift through his feelings about Cisco (even if Barry had been held at metaphorical gunpoint in the lead up to that conversation).

The only catch had been Hartley’s rather exquisite tastes. Barry had been running across the country all week scrambling to get meals from various Michelin Star establishments. All of them had laughed point blank in his face for asking for ‘take-out,’ but he improvised on that front; it turned out that even the most high-end eateries were happy to serve take-out to the Flash as long as they got a picture with him, too.

And no, he wasn’t proud of that particular use of his powers, but he had Cisco now, so he had no doubt that this was worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> I kind of let the ball drop on this one since it's not reallllly fake dating, but I tried
> 
> Check me out on [tumblr](http://st4rlabsforever.tumblr.com).


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